


Reflection

by JPeterson



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Incest, Post-Canon, Sibling Incest, Sister/Sister Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 08:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3283583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JPeterson/pseuds/JPeterson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was so natural – so logical. The sky is blue, grass is green, snow is white and Elsa loves Anna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reflection

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter warnings:  
> Mentions of icest, feels.

Elsa wasn't entirely sure if she was content or not. Logically, she knew that she should be (except perhaps for the fact that her arm was starting to fall asleep), because how could she not be happy with how Anna was essentially curled into her side – sound asleep as they sat on the couch, with one freckled arm wrapped around her waist and waves of free, burnished hair spilling over her shoulder.

She  _should_  be content, she mentally reiterated as she frowned at the thoroughly innocent, cheerfully crackling fire, and heard the whoosh of the winter winds zipping past outside her chambers. Really, because it had taken months of slow, steady progress in her and Anna growing familiar with each other again, and they'd finally become fully comfortable just over the past, few weeks. Now they were truly sisters again – sisters who could do everything together, could talk about anything under the sun, could pick the other up when she was down or just cause all sorts of mischief that Elsa herself had honestly thought she'd left behind in her childhood years.

Anna had taught her how to have fun again, she mused, and sent the top of the copper head a fond look as she continued to draw light patterns over her sister's shoulderblade with her fingertips. She'd brought home the oft-unmentioned but valuable lesson of allowing yourself to do something enjoyable just because you could, and worry about the aftermath if and when it came. It hadn't come today, but there  _had_  been that one time last month where they'd both received a stern talk from Gerda about ink and what it did to tapestries.

From long habit, Elsa brought up the hand that wasn't currently caressing Anna's shoulder to hide a smile, and then dropped a kiss to her sister's head in exchange for a soft sigh and a brief tightening of the arm that rested on her own waist. It had been fun, though, which had been the whole point, and the tapestry had been salvaged thanks to the skills (and experience, courtesy mainly of Anna) of their staff.

So. She was sitting here in complete relaxation, in front of a lovely fire, with Anna's warm body snuggled against her own in lazy relaxation. She'd fulfilled all her duties for today, had a lovely meal and just recently shared a cup of sweet tea and a snack with her sister. All in all, it had been a resoundingly successful and perfectly wonderful day.

Elsa tapped the fingers of her free hand against her own lips, and stared into the fire as she wondered why it was, then, that she felt so unsettled. The only somewhat unusual thing that had happened today was that Kristoff had stopped by for the first time in a while, having just returned from the first ice-harvesting trip of the winter season. His visit had been brief as he was leaving again in the morning, but Anna had been happy to see him.

She stopped herself at that, and narrowed her eyes a fraction. Something about that thought had been off somehow, and she went over it a few more times.

Anna had been  _happy_  to see him.

Anna had been happy to see  _him_.

 _Anna_  had been happy to see him.

Anna had. Singular, only her, and Elsa worried at her lower lip with her teeth in much the same way that her mind worried at that notion, because now that she actively thought about it, she herself had been more annoyed than anything else at Kristoff's appearance, though she certainly hadn't shown it or even noticed at the time. Why, though? Kristoff was a loyal man, a good friend and one of very few to whom she would entrust even Anna's safety. Some part of her, however, had reacted almost violently to his arrival – she just hadn't recognized it until now because her control was so ingrained that it tended to kick in without her even wanting it to.

She'd been  _jealous_ , she realized some moments later with a start that was more of a ripple up the side of her body that Anna wasn't resting against, and an abrupt widening of her eyes. Jealous not of Anna for having an admittedly handsome, trustworthy man come visit her, but at  _Kristoff_  for having Anna greet him in a way that she normally only did with Elsa. An excited squeal, an almost-leaping, tight hug, a clear, loud laugh and a firm kiss to his cheek. Everything Anna had done (and Elsa had been in the same room) had sent her envy shooting higher and higher, and if her iron control hadn't clamped down automatically, chances were that a wall of ice would probably have firmly intersected itself and separated Anna from Kristoff and vice-versa. Or worse.

_Mine._

The thought cropped up entirely on its own, and the arm she had around her sister's shoulders tightened its hold before Elsa realized what she was doing. She hardly even noticed as it was, because she was too busy staring blindly at the mantelpiece as her brain chased itself in gleeful little circles and was entirely too delighted at the fact that she was finally listening.

She wanted to be the only one Anna greeted like that. She wanted to be the one whose cheek Anna kissed – the one her sister would run so excitedly to, and the one that Anna would hold so tightly and grin so honestly at seeing. And it was not only downright selfish of her to feel that way, but also completely foolish because Anna was the type of person who was so open with her affections that she would greet  _anyone_  she cared about in such a manner. It was one of the things that Elsa loved most about her.

And, she realized with sudden, heart-clenching clarity, it was also one of the reasons that she had fallen in love with her.

It was almost as terrifying of a moment as the one she'd spent escaping the impact area of a falling chandelier. It had her heart pounding just as hard in her chest and her breathing speeding up until it felt as if she'd just run a good mile, and the only thing that kept her at least somewhat grounded was the familiarity of Anna's warm weight effectively holding her in place, as if the princess was determined to keep her from running off again even in her sleep.

Elsa wasn't sure how long she'd just vanished into her own mind for, but when she came back to herself the fire was burning a good deal lower than it had been, and a touch to the side of the teapot confirmed it to have gone cold. Granted, that could also be explained by the fact that winter had moved in, she admitted a touch sourly, and dispelled the lingered snow and ice with a sigh and a wave of her hand. At least the drop in temperature hadn't woken Anna.

Anna, who would have known that something was wrong from a single glance, and who certainly had the right to ask – even to insist on an answer. And Elsa was really glad that her sister was still sleeping soundly, because she had no idea what she would have said in response.

_Oh, I'm alright – I simply realized that I'm in love with you and probably have been for some time. Hardly a cause for concern._

God... even she had to chuckle at that, though she was well aware of Anna's breaths steadily warming her shoulder and took care to do so quietly even as she turned her gaze away from the fire and studied her sister as if for the first time.

There was no doubt that Anna was beautiful, both when she was in the gown of a princess and when clad in the occasional set of pants and shirt that she liked to wear when up to something particularly dusty, like horse-back riding. If Elsa had to pick a so-called persona that she personally preferred, though, it would be this one, with the younger woman clad in a simple shift and a warm robe, hair free to tumble about her shoulders and her body loosely wrapped in a thick blanket to ward off the chill of the night. This was not the princess, or the mischief-maker, or the outdoors-woman. This was simply  _Anna_  – sleeping, slumped over and a little rumpled to look at, with the fingers of one hand loosely curled in the material of Elsa's own robe as she snored softly.

Almost absentmindedly, Elsa wound a lock of soft, fiery hair around one finger and held it up to better see it. It glittered in the firelight like molten copper, and she imagined that if they'd been a little closer to a wall, she might have seen faint, almost water-like reflections spreading over stone and wood in a manner that she somehow just  _knew_  would be utterly enchanting. Because that was Anna's gift – that she could share her warmth with the world in much the same way that a sunbeam refracted through crystal, that she could cast light into the darkest heart with no more than her smile, and that she could teach even the Snow Queen what it was like to love.

Not that she hadn't loved Anna before, but this somehow felt... bigger. Warmer than even the golden fire, softer than Anna's skin when she traced a smattering of freckles with a careful fingertip, and when she brushed the stray locks of copper hair away from her sister's face, just looking at her filled her heart so completely that it brought tears to her eyes. It felt wonderful, and Elsa was going to enjoy that while it lasted, because she was quite sure that when the novelty of her realization wore off, it would probably hurt. A lot.

How on earth had she only discovered this now? In hindsight, it was so obvious – just looking at Anna would always lift her spirits, and the sight of her sister smiling at her was enough to make her breath catch in her throat. It was so natural – so logical. The sky is blue, grass is green, snow is white and Elsa loves Anna, because what other person could she possibly ever love like this? The feeling was so intense that it almost physically hurt, and yet all it made her want to do was smile.

And smile she did as she held Anna a little tighter, and threaded careful fingers through soft hair before dropping another lingering kiss to the crown of the younger woman's head. She stayed like that, with her eyes closed and her face pressing delicately into her sisters hair, and inhaled the myriad of scents that made up the essence of a single, unique individual – clean linen, honey-scented soap, fresh air, pine sap and even a faint whiff of horseflesh.

 _Anna_.

"I love you," she whispered into that gentle warmth, and only barely managed to stomp down on her shock when her sister's hold on her tightened in return.

"Hmm." Anna's head shifted subtly under her own, and Elsa could feel the caress of warm, somnolent breathing against her skin before a nose brushed the base of her throat, immediately followed by the faint press of soft lips. "Love y'too, Els."

Elsa ended up falling asleep right there, on the couch and in Anna's embrace. The murmur had been low and only halfway conscious at most, no more than a mid-sleep, instinctive response.

That was exactly why it was enough.


	2. .1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings:  
> Mentions of icest, feels.

It was rare that Anna got the chance to spend time with her sister without the disturbances that came part and parcel with Elsa's responsibilities as queen. Rulers never really got time off, for instance, so even on Sundays, it was normal for a page to knock on the door and deliver a message, or a servant to request her presence for something or other that could never be put off until the following day because it was 'urgent'. Anna had wandered along to some of those things, and could therefore say with reasonable certainty that any perceived urgency was rarely more than a matter of a single feather turning into five hens. Or, in shorter terms, people tended to panic for no reason.

The arrival of winter had dulled the flood of surplus tasks, though, and so uninterrupted time with Elsa had become a much more attainable goal. She didn't know if the extra peace had come because the season reminded people of their queen's more unusual abilities and therefore demanded an additional measure of respect, but whatever it was, Anna was glad of it. Selfish, maybe, but she loved the spare moments when she could have her sister's complete attention, without having to share her with documents or councilors or dignitaries as she did the rest of the time.

Sharing was something that she'd never grown particularly good at, but she blamed that on essentially having been an only child with no playmates for most of her life. The one person she willingly shared everything with was Elsa – even Kristoff was a second in that regard, and not even a close one. The romance between them hadn't ended with a bang, but instead fizzled so slowly that Anna doubted anyone aside from the two of them had even really noticed. It was a little saddening, because if things had been different, she honestly could have seen herself being very happy with him for a long time. On the other hand, it was also a relief to not have to keep up a pretense of any kind with someone who'd become a very dear friend.

It was all for the best, she muzzily reflected. Kristoff hadn't turned out to be the one she truly wanted, anyway.

Right now it was late in the evening – enough that even Elsa had changed out of her daywear, and Anna's head was therefore resting on a silk-clad shoulder as she swam lazily in and out of consciousness. The sofa was soft under her pulled-up legs, and the thick blanket she was wrapped in kept her nicely warm against the lingering chill of the room. The lighting was low since the only source was the fireplace, and she was curled into Elsa side with her sister's arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders.

It was a very peaceful setting. The only sounds she could hear were gentle ones – Elsa's quiet breathing, the low crackling of the fire and the muted whoosh of the wind outside. The air smelled of fragrant wood with the faintest, lingering hints of the tea they'd shared, and of course the scent of Elsa herself was the most powerful one, given the position they were in.

For anything but the first time, Anna silently wished that it could be like this all the time. Elsa's fingers were drawing almost lazy patterns on her shoulder that made her want to sink fully into sleep and stay awake at the same time, and the sheer peace that came with being so close to her sister – with feeling the slow, steady movement of breathing under her own arm – was something she could very easily find herself addicted to.

The light press of her sister's lips to Anna's head was almost enough to make her think that maybe Elsa felt the same, but she shook the thought away with an internal groan. She knew better than to assume such things. The only thing Elsa was doing was what came natural to her – especially after them being separated for over a decade – but Anna still curled her fingers loosely into the material of the queen's robe and wished for flying fishes all over again.

She faded, then, and sank into a full sleep for an unknown amount of time brought on by both the late hour, a busy day and the soothing sensation of being almost completely wrapped up in everything Elsa. Exactly what it was that drew her back out if it, she didn't know, but when she managed to gather her wits and started to pick up on the information that she could get without opening her eyes, she could hear her sister's heart pounding, feel the flat belly under her own arm moving with sharp, frightened breathing and sense the cool touch of snowflakes landing on her exposed skin.

Even half-awake, Anna's brain was quick to kick itself into gear. It had taken no more than two instances of Elsa panicking over something to teach Anna how to help, and since she now had experience from an additional, half-dozen occurrences other than this one, there was an ever-expanding library of information in her head that listed and cross-referenced and now whirled to the entries she needed like an encyclopedia flipping through its own pages.

_1: Stay calm – the last thing she needs is for you to start panicking.  
_ _2: Is Elsa aware of what's happening?_

Anna cracked an eye open and peered up at what she could see of her sister's face, and was at once both heartened and disappointed (for which she scolded herself) to see that the blue eyes were clear and focused, if noticeably wide with shock. Disappointed because this meant that at least right now, Elsa was fully capable of calming herself down if given a little time, and therefore didn't need Anna's help. She would, in fact, become embarrassed and withdraw at the offering if history was any guide, so the best she could do for the moment was to pretend that she hadn't noticed.

It was with a stifled sigh that she closed her eyes again and resigned herself to wait, and deliberately kept her own breathing slow and even as she rubbed her cheek against Elsa's shoulder. The motion could easily be enough for her sister to pick up on it and – in relation – the rhythm of Anna's breathing, but wasn't something that clearly signaled that she was awake and aware of what was happening. Her hand, too, moved – fingers flexing slowly in the soft, thin material of the queen's robe and thereby brushing against the skin beneath in languid, soothing strokes. She counted seconds and minutes as she waited as patiently as she could, and peered up at Elsa at regular intervals to make sure that she at least hadn't worsened. At one point, she considered moving since there had been a time where physical contact had been the absolute  _last_  thing to help, but the arm that circled her own shoulders was taut and would take significantly more wiggling to break free from than any believably sleeping person should really be capable of.

When Anna got to eight minutes and seventeen seconds, the heartbeat that was practically under her ear started to slow. At nine minutes and forty-four seconds, she heard Elsa sigh and felt her shift subtly, and suddenly the temperature in the room was climbing and the snow stopped settling on her skin.

Staying quiet was the problem right now, because she really wanted to tell Elsa that she was proud of her. Proud that she'd managed to calm herself back down, and – when she heard a soft, wry chuckle – that she'd even found something amusing in what had probably been a really scary moment. Doing that was impossible if she didn't want Elsa to know that she had noticed, though, so she held her tongue and instead let her fingers flex one more time against her sister's side before stilling entirely.

Then she was suddenly aware of being under the full weight of those very blue eyes, of the light caress of warm breath washing over her forehead, and of soft, cool fingers pressing gently into her shoulder as Elsa seemed to turn a little in her seat. Stillness, then, and Anna mainly focused on not letting herself peek to see what Elsa was doing while taking care to give a brief, low snore every now and then. The seconds felt increasingly more laden as they ticked by, and when she felt those gentle fingers trace her cheek and then fully expose her face by brushing her hair back, it was all she could do to keep her breathing even.

_Just count, Anna. Count and focus on that. One, two, three, four, five, six..._

At thirty-one, Elsa's hold on her tightened. When she got to thirty-eight there were fingers threading in her hair and lips against the top of her head, and at forty-two...

"I love you."

And  _god-fucking-dammit_  now her eyes were burning while her heart was flopping around in her chest like a fish on a pier, and the fact that she knew Elsa hadn't meant it that way did absolutely nothing to stop her hopes from soaring, no matter how fast or how harshly she tried to pull them back down. She did at least manage to keep herself bodily calm, so there would be no noticeable trace of either an elevated pulse or faster breathing for Elsa to pick up on. That could count as a victory, couldn't it?

Wanting to respond at least somehow, Anna gave a low hum and wanted to cry when she felt Elsa stiffen at the kiss she placed to the base of her throat. "Love y'too, Els," she murmured, and hoped that the hoarseness in her voice would be blamed on sleep. Elsa wasn't slipping away from her, at least. In fact, she was staying right where she was with her exhales warming the top of Anna's head and – as she started to relax – the fingers she'd tangled in her hair starting to make slow, tingling circles over the back of her skull.

It probably would have hurt less if it hadn't felt so right, and while Anna knew that she could conceivably extract herself from the embrace without revealing that she was awake, there was too big a part of her that just didn't want to - a part that was greedy and stupid and apparently a glutton for punishment, because all she wanted was to enjoy the moment. To revel in the closeness and the affection, even if it was no more than a fantasy under false pretenses.

She didn't dare open her eyes until Elsa's breathing had been slow and level the entire time it took her to count to three hundred, so the fire had burned down to little more than embers by the time she actually flicked her gaze to it and started to carefully slip as free as she needed to in order to sit up. The air, unsurprisingly, had cooled with the dimming of the single heat-source in the room, and even though she knew that Elsa was remarkably resistant to cold, she still settled the blanket over her sister before standing and making her silent, tip-toeing way over the the fireplace with her robe tugged tightly closed around her.

There were plenty of logs waiting in a large, wicker basket, and Anna placed a few of them in strategic locations before using a poker to stir the glowing coals to life. A few slow puffs of breath had flames rising and catching the dry wood, and she stayed in her crouched position directly in front of the fire until it was crackling and snapping fitfully once again.

It was still chilly, of course, but that was to be expected in the dead of winter – especially since a glance at the small clock on the mantelpiece told her that it was well after midnight, which meant that she by all rights should have been sound asleep in her own bed several hours ago. They both should have, but instead Elsa was asleep on the couch, sitting up with her neck bent at what looked to be an uncomfortable angle, and Anna was re-building the fire in a room whose occupant had no real need for it.

 _Because you want to stay here with her_. She glowered into the fire, then closed her eyes and rubbed the base of her palm against her forehead.  _God, you **are**  a glutton for punishment, aren't you? Just get her to go to bed and then get back to your own room – save yourself the hurt, you idiot._

Anna rose to a stand with a soundless sigh, and flicked her loose hair into some semblance of order by running her fingers through it as she crossed back over to the sofa. She'd opened her mouth to speak – had even extended her hand halfway to Elsa's shoulder – and still somehow ended up just freezing in place (through not literally so) as she studied the sleeping queen in the flickering firelight. It took several seconds of utter stillness before she shook herself out of it.

"Elsa." A gentle nudge to the silk-clad shoulder was all it took before the blue eyes were fluttering open, and Anna didn't even have to fake the instinctive smile the sight brought to her face. "Hey, sleepyhead."

That earned her the faint arch of a pale eyebrow, and her sister blinked several times until her eyes were as clear and alert as they'd ever been before shifting in her seat to face her. "Anna," the queen then greeted with a small smile and an inflection that she couldn't quite pinpoint. "Please don't tell me it's already morning?"

"Very  _early_  morning," Anna retorted dryly, and waited for her hands to be caught before pulling the older woman to her feet and shoving down her gut reaction to suddenly having Elsa less than half a foot away. At least she was getting a lot of practice in keeping a straight face. "So c'mon, Your Majesty – bedtime for queens."

"Hm." Elsa's chuckle was so close that Anna could almost feel it in her own chest, and she fought down a shiver when the cool hands slid from her own onto her elbows and gave a gentle squeeze before her sister stepped away. "Perhaps I should propose a law that tells all royalty and nobility to be in bed by midnight," then queen commented as she approached the bed. "What do you think?"

"As long as you watch your wording," Anna returned gamely, and ambled over to the windows to close the heavy drapes – mostly to keep her wits about her when Elsa removed her robe and seated herself on the edge of the bed with one knee over the other, clad only in her shift. "Knowing our nobles, it needs to be specified not only who  _counts_  as nobility-" One set of curtains was closed, and she took three steps. "But also what a bed exactly  _is_ -" Close, step. "And  _which_  bed they'd have to get into."

Elsa was laughing softly by the time Anna was halfway through her little speech, and was sitting behind her by just a few feet when she'd closed the final set of drapes. "You're very well acquainted with politics and lawmaking both, it seems," she commented in a half-teasing, half-admiring tone.

Anna turned on her heel, and folded her arms with a satisfied, little smirk. "Well enough to know the nature of both beasts," she agreed, and used one hand to pull the top of her robe closed. The re-awakened fire hadn't warmed up the room yet, and not everyone could just sit there with bare shoulders and arms and calves and she  _really_  needed to change that train of thought before she got herself into something she couldn't get back out of.

"Cold?" Elsa questioned, and when Anna simply  _looked_  at her (because why would she  _not_  be cold?), there was a tug at the corner of her mouth along with a slight, acknowledging dip of her head. "I suggest you stay here tonight, then. The hallways are going to be even colder, and if a fire hasn't been lit in your room, I doubt you're going to get very comfortable. At least in here, it will get warmer fairly fast now."

It was a surprisingly silly suggestion when taking into account to the person it was coming from. During the winter months, the castle staff kept fires lit in the used bedrooms all day precisely to ensure that the temperatures that permeated the wood-covered, stone walls come bedtime were warm ones, rather than cold ones. Anna had known this for as long as she could remember, so shouldn't Elsa know that too? Or was it a matter of that being an unwritten rule, and one you actually needed to see with your own eyes?

Beyond that, it was a bad idea. The last thing that would help her deal with what she felt for Elsa would be sleeping in her bed. Anna had no doubt in her own mind that she would wake up curled either around Elsa or cuddled into her arms. That, in turn, would mean that her sister would not only be the last thing on her mind and the most likely subject of her dreams, but also the first thing she'd see when she opened her eyes tomorrow morning. She'd end up imagining what it would be like to wake up with Elsa every day and start day-dreaming, and it was really just something she should avoid if at all possible. No. Nope. Not gonna happen.

She was remarkably unsurprised when she heard herself say, "Sure. Thanks," and hoped that her smile didn't look as tremulous as it felt when Elsa rose and turned down the covers. A handful of heartbeats later her sister was comfortably ensconced under the duvet, and when Anna circled the bed and let both the blanket and her robe slip from her shoulders, she could have sworn that she was under that watchful, blue gaze again, only Elsa's eyes were closed.

"Still?" came the sleep-infused murmur some moments later when they were both resting on the massive mattress a respectable distance apart, and when Anna cracked an eye open and nodded haltingly, she saw a firelit, pale arm slip into view and lift the covers in silent invitation.

Again, it was a bad idea.

"I'm not  _that_  cold," Elsa noted with a crooked, closed-eyes smile when there'd been a full, ten seconds of silence.

"No, I know." Anna scooted over and into the space offered, and tried not sigh in contentment when she tucked her head under her sister's chin and felt a familiar arm settle around her shoulders. Elsa's  _hands_  were always noticeably cool, but never more than comfortably so as long as her emotions were in check. Her body, however, was almost the same temperature as Anna's own, and felt blessedly warm to curl into on a night like this.

The arm around her tightened, and there was the gentle pressure of Elsa's cheek coming to rest against the top of her head. "Better?"

"Mm." She slid an arm of her own around the narrow waist, and managed to keep it from trembling. "You're in a good mood," she then commented quietly, mostly to stop herself from kissing the smooth skin directly in front of her. "Did something happen?"

"Hmm, something," was the responding murmur, accompanied by Elsa's nails giving her back a light scratch and followed by a yawn. "Can we sleep now?"

"Sure," Anna chuckled, and barely managed to count beyond seventy before the breathing she could both feel and hear leveled into sleep. She shifted, then. Slowly, until she could raise herself up on one elbow – until she could watch the flicker of light and shadow over Elsa's face, and just barely make out the flutter of her heartbeat at her pulse point.

Anna's other hand carefully moved a few, stray bangs out of her sister's closed eyes, and she smiled when the motion brought a soft murmuring of her own name, which again carried that new intonation that seemed so strangely familiar. It was warmer somehow, when Elsa said it now. Slower, too – as if she was taking the time to enjoy every letter, every syllable (all two of them) before she let the name leave her tongue entirely. Careful, as if to appreciate it more, and sounding very much like the name was worth its weight in precious stones.

When she realized why there was something familiar about the way Elsa spoke her name, she quite literally felt her heart skip a beat.

 _She says my name like Kristoff used to_.

Lips trembling, Anna settled her hand on Elsa's cheek and let the pad of her thumb sweep slow, featherlight circles over the smattering of barely-there freckles that she couldn't even make out in this light.

_She says it like she's in love with me._


	3. ^2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings:  
> Icest, suggestive (but not outright sexual) content.

Sleep was apparently going to be an elusive thing, Elsa surmised a little crankily as she felt herself floating closer to wakefulness. That annoyed her, to be honest, because it had not only been a busy day, but also an emotionally tiring one since it wasn't every day she realized that she was harboring romantic feelings for her little sister. She had no doubts that she'd end up expending even more energy in order to hide that particular revelation while she tried to figure out what to do about it, so the fact that she was failing in her attempts to sink back into the grasp of dreams was sort of irritating.

Something, however, was tugging at her – not literally, although when she gained enough control over her thoughts to remember that Anna had gotten into bed with her, the possibility wasn't exactly a far-off one. No, this was more of a... brushing sensation? She frowned as she tried to figure it out, tried to pinpoint what it was that she felt, but it was a slow process since she was still climbing towards wakefulness and her brain wasn't cooperating at its normal speeds.

There was warmth on her face in two ways. A hand resting against her cheek and jaw, and what was probably a single finger slowly brushing over her cheekbone. There were also soft, intermittent rushes of warm air against her skin – air that smelled faintly of tea and chocolate. Breath, perhaps? Yes, when she listened carefully and pulled herself up higher, the rhythm matched that of low, hitching breathing coming from nearby.

_Hitching?_

The sound of a low sniffle pulled Elsa into complete wakefulness so sharply that her head swam from it, and she was glad that the light was soft enough to not blind her completely when her eyes snapped open. "Anna?" she murmured, and grabbed for the hand when it left her face while blinking rapidly to clear the haze of sleep from her eyes. She only managed to catch a wrist, and as her vision sharpened, she felt her heart pound faster.

Anna was holding herself up on one elbow next to her – almost  _over_  her – backlit by the golden firelight and with the hand that Elsa had almost caught wiping at her own cheeks. Her eyes were near-luminous in the half-darkness, unusually bright against her shadowed face and unmistakably wet even as her lips shaped a wavering smile, and Elsa literally had to bite her tongue to keep from blurting out something that would probably be incredibly insensitive for the situation, because  _God_ , she was beautiful.

"Nightmare?" she wondered instead as she released the wrist and caught a stray tear on her own fingers.

Inexplicably, Anna gave a weak, snorting laugh and shook her head. "No," she muttered, and scrubbed her hand over her face one more time before blowing out a shaky breath that Elsa felt stir her own bangs. "Just... something you said."

"That  _I_  said?" Her eyebrows rose, and then lowered almost immediately. "When? What?"  _God..._ She was quite sure that she hadn't been asleep for long, but she distinctly remembered dreaming of Anna. _Don't tell me I talk in my sleep_.

For several, increasingly uncomfortable moments, Anna seemed to not really know how to reply, and instead just followed a repeating cycle of looking at her, chewing at her own lips and then looking away. Elsa watched and waited with one arm loosely curled around her sister's waist and her hand trying to find  _somewhere_  to rest, not really willing to make any suggestions as to what Anna had heard her say just to avoid bringing up anything uncomfortable.

She was, in fact, so focused on keeping her own mouth shut that she completely missed the fact that Anna was talking.

"Excuse me." Elsa flushed when she finally found herself to be under the expectant (and as far as she could see, amused) regard of the turquoise eyes, and cleared her throat. "You were saying?"

"No, I was asking," her sister corrected warmly, and Elsa tried to not notice the hand that settled against her own waist. Instead she focused on the small, teasing grin that appeared on Anna's face and seemed to push back the lingering tears like the sun sweeping over a hillside. "But now I'm thinking maybe you're too tired for questions."

"I'm wide awake," she insisted, and sighed when Anna's response was a scarcely choked snicker. "Truly. What was the question?"

"Well, nothing too complex, at least," was the playful response, though she did feel the minute, nervous clench in the hand that rested on her side. "I just asked you to say my name."

Blink. Blink again. "Ex _cuse_  me?"

"Say my name." Anna's voice was steady but soft, and the pale eyes dropped to the bedding for a single moment before looking back up at her through their lashes. "Please."

Thoroughly bewildered, Elsa cocked her head as much as she could considering the fluffiness of her pillow. It was an innocent enough request, certainly, but she did wonder at the motivation behind it. Did Anna miss hearing her voice speaking those four letters after their separation, perhaps, or did she just want Elsa to say her name more in general, regardless of the past?

Either way, obliging couldn't hurt, could it?

"Anna," she therefore said, and then promptly blushed because she'd inadvertently used her monarch voice and sounded entirely too official. Anna was kindly not laughing at her, though it seemed to take some effort judging by the slight twitch she'd developed at the corner of her lips.

Elsa cleared her throat once more, and lifted one hand to brush a few stray locks of copper behind her sister's ear. "Anna," she tried again – this time noticeably softer - and smiled when she felt a warm cheek lean into her palm.

"Again," came the low request, and when she went to move her hand away, there was a brief press of fingertips to her arm that stopped her.

Reassured, she trailed her fingers through the soft hair underneath them, and felt goosebumps chase themselves down the inside of her own arm when a contented sigh washed over her skin. The turquoise eyes slid shut at her touch, and when they opened again, she felt the hand on her waist flex and drew a featherlight line over the smooth cheek beneath her thumb in response.

"Anna," she murmured, and felt her heart ache in the best possible way.

The smile she earned was impossibly gentle, and while her heartbeat did speed up at the sight of a silky-looking, lower lip being trapped between even teeth, it was the fact that Anna was leaning closer that really set it to pounding against her ribs, because that was just entirely too good to be true. It couldn't be. No one got to be that lucky, and she certainly had to have used up at least one lifetime's allowance of luck, hadn't she?

Somewhere, she noticed that the hand on her waist was heavier now due to her sister having to lean on it a little. It was anything but uncomfortable, just sort of... there and warm, with slender fingers pressing into the skin above her hip through the silky fabric of her shift. Chiefly, however, she was aware of the look in those pale eyes – something that was at once both anxious and determined – of the fact that she could feel warm breath against her own mouth, and that it was noticeably, nervously, excitedly uneven. Just like her own.

"Again," Anna breathed, and she could hear the smile in her voice when the hand on her waist came up to cradle her jaw, even though their faces were now close enough for their noses to brush. "Elsa."

And simply hearing her own name spoken like that – in that careful, soft tone – made everything as clear as the ice she could craft herself. Anna knew, because if that was how Elsa had been saying  _her_  name since her own revelation, she  _had_  to know. There was absolutely no mistaking the sheer love that permeated every letter, and even though her own feelings were a very recent discovery, the fact that they were returned was enough to make her swallow repeatedly against the sudden lump that rose in her throat.

It meant that her fourth utterance of her sister's name was more of a hoarse whine than anything else, but she didn't worry herself overmuch. Not when there was silken fabric and smooth skin under her hands, and gentle waves of fiery red tickling her face and neck. Not when she could feel the warmth of Anna's body, and the caress of light callouses over her jawline. Not when she could taste the hint of chocolates on Anna's breath, and feel the ever so light glide of lips against her own.

The last syllable was swallowed up by Anna's mouth, anyway, and when Elsa tensed her arm to pull the younger woman closer, she found that those lips were every bit as soft as they looked. Satiny and pliant, they met hers in a light caress that was little more than a tender nuzzle, with Anna's exhales warming her skin and her own hand slipping further until her fingers were fully tangled in burnished copper. Firmer, then, with Anna's eyes still looking into her own from so very close by, and Elsa felt her suck in an unsteady breath when she angled her head back just enough to give a cautious nip. Firmer again, and now they both ended up giggling because when they moved to angle their heads, they both went the same way three times in a row.

"Hey." Anna nosed her when she smirked. "I can feel that, you know."

"Mmhm." Elsa freed her hand from the silky hair and tangled it up again just because she could. Because she was allowed. "Can you feel this?" she wondered, and carefully shaped three more words without speaking any of them aloud. She felt the shiver before she even saw Anna's eyes close, and smiled at knowing that she apparently had just as much of an effect on her sister as Anna had on her.

"I love you too." The soft words washed over her skin with a reverence that she really didn't feel deserving of, but this time they managed to move their heads in opposite directions, so when the kiss resumed and then deepened, Elsa let her own eyes slip shut and decided to stop worrying.

Everything felt so thrillingly natural – they just  _fit_ , from their lips to her jaw in Anna's hand to the curve of Anna's hip in hers. It was so easy for her to move closer and gently nudge until she was the one leaning over Anna, until she could trail a fingertip down the side of her throat to where she could feel the pulse hammering against her skin. So simple to touch and taste and just completely immerse herself in this remarkable, utterly unmatched young woman, to learn how it felt to have her lips against the base of Anna's throat and feel a low, breathy moan vibrate against them. To have slim, strong hands tangling in her hair or fisting in her shift and pulling tighter while Anna pressed closer, until her blood was singing in her veins and she could feel her magic murmuring approvingly under her skin.

Anna loved her -  _loved her_  – in every conceivable way that one human being could love another. It was sisterly, in the way her eyes softened with concern when Elsa broke away and just stared at her in wonder. It was innocent, in how she jerked in surprise and then giggled when Elsa nipped at the tip of her nose with a smile. It was playful, in how she cradled Elsa's face in her hands and peppered her with kisses that went from being so light that they tickled to being so wet that they counted as raspberries, and kept doing it until Elsa was snickering helplessly. It was romantic, in how she stroked the skin around Elsa's eyes and cheeks and mouth so gently that she seemed to worry about breaking it, and how she met her eyes so openly and honestly when their foreheads touched. It was passionate, in how her fingertips dragged over Elsa's skin when their lips connected again – in how she drew in a shuddering breath when Elsa's hand kneaded at her waist, and in how her back arched and her hands pulled when Elsa's lips and tongue slipped over her exposed collarbone.

Above all, it was selfless, in how she'd never said a word and had clearly been willing to let Elsa find happiness at the cost of her own.

 _God._  She rested there, so closely above Anna that they were literally breathing the same air.  _Let me be worthy of her_.

"When?" she queried softly, and was helpless to stop her fingers from tracing the curve of her sister's cheekbone, to keep herself from admiring every tiny freckle or the way the firelight made the fine hairs on Anna's skin glitter.

"Always," was the answer around a low laugh, accompanied by a touch that traced the shell of her ear and made her shiver. "Or at least it feels like always," Anna then corrected. "You... recently, I guess?"

"I _realized_  it recently, yes," Elsa agreed, and ducked her head the bare inch it took for their lips to meet again in a slow, tender give and take. "But, um..." She groaned and tamped down on the instinctive roll of her hips when two warm hands clasped them and kneaded gently. "Anna, it's  _extremely_  difficult for me to think when you do that."

"Sorry," Anna smirked, and although she looked nothing of the sort, her touch did change to a steady, light caress. "But,  _God_ , Elsa, can you blame me? With you and all your..." One hand came up and waved in helpless supplication, and she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from smiling at the look on Anna's face. "...  _this?!_  When I know that I can- that I'm  _allowed_  to and- and I don't even know where to begin!" A sigh, and a scowl that was so unbearably cute that Elsa almost – almost – lost her battle with her own amusement. "Are you laughing at me, woman?"

Well, she definitely was now. "I'm sorry," she got out around a giggle, and coaxed those pale eyes back on her with a gentle press of her palm to Anna's cheek. "Being with you just makes me so... so happy, I- it always has, but this is... I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am right now." Tenderly, she brushed the backs of her fingers over a freckled cheek, and watched the eyes below her soften. "You are  _so_  unbelievably special, Anna. Not because you're a princess, but because you are  _you_. Because you're fearless and tenacious and climb mountains in  _ballgowns_  to find me and save our people – because you have the courage to follow your heart no matter how much it hurts you. Because if I live to be a thousand years, I'll never be as wise as you, and because your heart is bigger than all of the mountains in Arendelle. And all I can do right now..." She brushed the pad of her thumb over Anna's lips, and felt them purse in a gentle kiss. "... is wonder what in the world I did to make you want  _me_ , because I honestly don't feel that I deserve you."

Anna was scowling at her again, but when the sight made Elsa chuckle anew, she smiled. "That's just nonsense," she declared, and turned up her nose with a comically imperious air that made Elsa have to hold back a snort. Then the look in her eyes both softened and sharpened at the same time, and an unusually serious expression settled on her face while her hand caught Elsa's and bought it to her lips. "You deserve  _everything_ ," Anna intoned, and there was both skin and silk beneath Elsa's hand when it was settled on the younger woman's sternum, and held there. "If you don't believe that, then believe me." Fingers, tapping on the back of her hand, and the faint thrumming of a heartbeat below her palm. "Believe  _this_."

And maybe it really was that simple. Maybe all Elsa had to do until she found a way to fully believe in herself was to believe in Anna's belief in her. To live up to what Anna saw when she looked at her was undoubtedly a tall order, but what better motivation could she ever hope for? And one thing was for certain.

"I'll always believe in you," she promised, and smiled when warm fingers tugged her down and soft lips caught her own again. "It would probably be good for both of us to see ourselves through each other's eyes, if just for a day."

"You mean, you seeing yourself the way I see you and the other way around?" Anna queried, and waited for her to nod before snickering. "I dunno, Elsa. I think your head'd swell up so much you'd have trouble getting through the door."

"I'm flattered." She chuckled against the warm skin that stretched over Anna's jaw, and then smiled for entirely different reasons when she dragged her mouth up to a faintly flushed ear and heard the sharp intake of breath. "You, meanwhile, would probably end up floating off into the sky if you saw yourself the way I do."

"Probably better that we- that we just kinda learn as we go," Anna responded, the slight stutter coming when Elsa's lips closed around and tugged at the earlobe, and the hands on her hips were pulling her in again. "We've got, um-" A soft groan when she first kissed, and then sucked gently at a spot of skin just below Anna's ear. "-something. I-" Nip. "Uh-" Bite, and the sharp, upwards arcing of Anna's back. "-  _fuck_ , Elsa..."

This type of learning, Elsa decided, was infinitely preferable to dusty old books. Watching, hearing, and feeling how Anna reacted to what type of touch had her own body responding, though she was trying to keep that under control so she could truly explore and memorize, because this was definitely going to happen again – and more than just once, if she had anything to say about it.

"We've got what?" she murmured against a flushed cheek, and smiled at the sound of uneven breathing while she slowly walked the fingers of one hand up the center of Anna's silk-clad torso. "Hm?"

"I don't-" A hand caught her wrist on the tail end of a sharp inhalation, and stopped her fingers in their light tracing of the underside of a breast. "-know. Elsa, I really,  _really_  can't think when you're touching me like that."

"Sorry," Elsa said, and decided that she probably looked as apologetic as Anna had earlier, going by the look she was getting.

"Lies," Anna grumbled.

But when their lips met again, she was smiling.


End file.
